Remake Alert! - Red Sonja (2009)

What a weird movie to remake! Red Sonja remake is slated for 2009. The original occupied a weird-enough space in cinema history - the remake is even more extruded. I always wondered exactly what the deal was with the original Red Sonja (1985). Was it a sequel??? Was Conan a trilogy? Here's what wikipedia has to say about that:

"In Conan the Barbarian, Sandahl Bergman played Valeria, a thief and the love of Conan’s life. Bergman was offered the role of Red Sonja, but turned it down, choosing instead to play the villainous Queen Gedren. It took Dino De Laurentiis almost a year to find an actress "Amazonian" enough to play the title character; in fact, he was still looking eight weeks before the production was due to start, when he saw Brigitte Nielsen on the cover of a fashion magazine. The 21-year-old native of Helsingør, Denmark, who was in Milan on a modeling job, soon found herself on a plane heading for Rome and a successful screen test.

Schwarzenegger had great success in the two Conan movies, but his next film, James Cameron’s The Terminator, was a real breakthrough. When De Laurentiis approached Schwarzenegger and asked him to appear in an extended cameo and take second billing in Red Sonja, the actor agreed out of a feeling of obligation. He worked on the movie for only three weeks, and was very unhappy with De Laurentiis when he discovered he had been given top billing for what was essentially a supporting role."

Now Rose McGowan will be playing the title role. Brigitte Nielsen made the original work - just like she makes Flava Flav work to get laid. I doubt Rose McGowan will be able to sell the whole Amazonian thing.

I can totally picture what Robert Rodriguez was thinking when he decided to make this movie: "Remakes are the hot new thing... I've got to jump on this bandwagon! But I still have to maintain my image as a Hollywood outsider... what movie would make NO SENSE to remake? I know! Red Sonja!"

P.S. Did you know Red Sonja started as a comic book character? So, this is both a remake and a comic book movie... way to be original Rodriguez.

Read the coverage of the Red Sonja remake on comingsoon.net

Remake Alert! - Friday the 13th (2009)

You've probably already heard about this one... Friday the 13th remake is slated for February 13 (a Friday!), 2009. I say you've probably heard of it, because New Line is promoting the shit out of it. Which I guess I am now a part of. Let's see..... Jason X was the tenth movie, Freddy vs. Jason was the eleventh... this is now the TWELFTH fuckin movie that Jason has starred in since the original was made in 1980. Get this guy a star on the Hollywood walk of fame!

Shocktillyoudrop.com's coverage of the remake at SDCC 08

Remake Alert! - RETRACTION - Spider Baby (????)

So, I've come to find out through various means that most of the facts listed in my remake alert for Spider Baby are completely untrue. THE REMAKE IS STILL HAPPENING. I just got some of the facts wrong. I guess I shouldn't trust Fangoria.com?

Sid Haig did not facilitate the Spider Baby remake, and has nothing to do with it.
Jack Hill will not be starring in the film. (I got this info from the man himself) But he is in The Kiss, a new vampire movie....

Spider Baby (1964) Review: The Brief Version

To read the full review on Analog Medium, click here.

Spider Baby is genuinely savage. The Maddest Story Ever Told (as it was once renamed) is nearly just that. ... It's a story is told in the xenophobic tradition of Freaks and clearly influenced by Psycho, but there is a whole different beast on display in Spider Baby. ... At the same time, the whole film is laced with a strain of self-conscious comedy. ... Jack Hill, the writer and director, was the original post-modern horror filmmaker. ...

Remake Alert! - Rocky Horror Picture Show (2009)

Great Scott! Rocky Horror Picture Show remake??? That'll probably be stupid. How can you compete with Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon, or that freak that played Riff Raff. The original is classic. Shocktillyoudrop.com said it was inevitable, but I wouldn't have expected it. How can they expect the fans to cross over? I doubt many people will be into acting out scenes in leather lingerie in front of audiences at a remake. We will see.

[Read the article]

Remake Alert! - Spider Baby (????)

Spider Baby Remake: Slated for 2008-ish?

Holy crap! I had just posted the first Remake Alert, I had just sat down to write an Analog Medium review for Spider Baby (1964), and lo and behold - what do I find? Spider Baby will also be remade. My gut reaction is to say it's a bad idea. The original is so unique and charming I wouldn't think they can pull it off. But then I found out it was Jack Hill's idea to begin with, it was facilitated by Sid Haig, and Jack Hill will replace Lon Chaney, Jr. in the cast. I wouldn't believe anyone else for the role of Bruno, but the original writer/director somehow feels like an appropriate choice. I can't wait to see what happens.

Check out Spider Baby (1964) on Analog Medium

INFORMATION IN THIS ARTICLE IS INCORRECT - CHECK THE RETRACTION

Mid-Day Multi-Feature Preview Show

[Pic from El Blog Ausente]

Viva la Grindhouse! Everyone should know more about low budgets Italian movies.

Hell Ride looks like a pretty cool Tarantino-esque adventure. (Presented by Tarantino, naturally)

Keanu Reeves plays Klaatu in the remake of The Day Earth Stood Still. It should have been Bruce Campbell!!!

Speaking of Bruce Campbell... what's up with another Evil Dead movie? All I hear is talk.

Who knew David Lynch appreciated the creative input of others? David Lynch explains the value of mediation.

Remake Alert! - Robocop (2010)

Love em or hate em, remakes have become a mainstay of the modern Hollywood repertoire (along with sequels to dead franchises and graphic novel adaptations). I'm going to make it my mission to pass the remake news along to you (just like a hundred other people on the net are doing).

Robocop Remake: Slated for 2010

I didn't know about this doozy until today. MGM has announced it will remake Robocop - the 1987 sci-fi / action classic directed by Paul Verhoeven. Robocop has been a part of my life since I was 2 years old. That original movie should have never been shown to kids, but it was, and I'm very thankful. I wouldn't be the man I am today if I hadn't seen that lovable cyborg enforcer blow shit up and kill people when I was so young. Don't fuck it up, guys!

Mid-Day Multi-Feature Preview Show

(pic from El Blog Ausente)

Here's a look at a lot of stuff happening on the horizon, and right now.

I hope to make this a new series of reoccurring posts. Hopefully I can keep it up this time. Future posts will probably be shorter than this one.

Analog Medium has the scoop on the new Lost Boys movie

Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg wrote a script for a Green Hornet movie and Columbia Pictures is gung-ho going for it [comingsoon.net]

Robert Rodriguez is "presenting" a remake of Red Sonja, directed by Douglas Aarniokoski and starring Rose McGowan [comingsoon.net]

There's going to be a CG Astro Boy animated movie [comingsoon.net]

Jeff Goldblum is joining the cast of Law and Order: Criminal Intent. Goldblum every week! [comingsoon.net]

Guillermo Del Toro is going to make a Frankenstein movie. I wonder if it will be like the original, or another "re-visioning" [shocktillyoudrop.com]

Check it out: some guy recreated the chase scene from Bullit on google maps - the bad ass chase through San Francisco! [via Boing Boing]

Paul W.S. Anderson says he has begun early talks with Sony about Resident Evil 4 . I bet it will be much weaker than the game. [shocktillyoudrop.com]

Lawn zombie! [via Boing Boing]

My favorite story of the whole bunch: missing reels have been found from Metropolis, Fritz Lang's visionary masterpiece from 1927. Can't wait to see the restored version! [via Boing Boing]